and ramblings on everything in between
Have you ever been completely honest with God about what you need? Have you ever taken a step back and said, ‘This is what I need, and I trust You will provide it.’? I find it hard to ask for things for myself. Well, small things that is. I guess I don’t want to seem selfish when there are so many people dealing with tough, tough situations.
I remember a small group leader challenging our group to think of something we needed and asking God to provide it. He dared us to believe that God would meet that basic need. I thought this was an interesting idea, but at the time I never handed something specific up to God.
When I moved into my current apartment seven months ago, I was in need of everything. It was my first time living on my own and I had been staying with friends and family for about three years so all the big stuff was long gone. I was down to what could fit in the trusty Honda, mainly clothes. Friends were all too happy to give me items stored in their basements, and their leftovers became a decent setup. One friend let me use an old patio set as my kitchen table. It had a chunk missing from the top and was weather beaten from the years it spent outside. I was so grateful to have a place to sit that I didn’t mind. I threw a table cloth that a friend sewed for me over it and called it a day.
But over time the table just wasn’t cutting it. Since the surface was uneven, I had to be very strategic about where I sat my glass. The chairs creaked when you sat in them, threatening to collapse. I thought about replacing the table almost every day but I didn’t want to spend the money to buy a new one while I was paying off my debt and the perfect used one wasn’t showing up at my doorstep.
Finally out of frustration two weeks ago, I asked Him for help. I told God I wanted a new table so badly and I needed His help to find it. Then I went about my day and week without thinking of that little conversation or mentioning it to anyone.
The next week, I received a message from the friend who sewed the table cloth for me. She found a table in her storage unit that she had forgotten about. She remembered I was looking for one when I moved in and was wondering if I could use it. My jaw dropped as I read the message. She and I hadn’t discussed that I was looking for a table in seven months and and I was surprised she remembered. When I asked her how much she wanted for it, she said I could have it for free. (Jaw dropped further.) When I asked her when I could pick it up, she said she and her fiancé would bring it over the next day. (Jaw was touching the floor.) This was too good to be true!
I constantly tell the high schoolers I lead that God wants to be with them in the big things and the small things. He wants us to trust Him with all of it, no matter how minuscule we think it to be. I was telling them this over and over without really putting it into practice in my own life. This table incident opened my eyes to the fact that He does hear our prayers and He will provide us with exactly what we need. If I ever doubt that, I can look at the little table sitting in my kitchen right now and remember He was looking out for me.
Later on when I told my mother that I flat out asked God for a table and then it appeared out of thin air, she laughed and said, “What are you going to ask Him for next?!” I have refrained from placing any more special requests for the time being since that did seem a little selfish of me. ; )