and ramblings on everything in between
I was recently musing about life with a friend, letting all our thoughts and anxiety and frustrations spill out. We both have a problem with shutting off our thoughts. We’re constantly on overdrive and over analyzing this, that, and the other. He can’t stop worrying about what the right answers are to everything. I can’t stop making to-do lists and dreaming up what I want my life to be.
In all our toiling, we are rarely better off than before we let our rapid-speed thoughts hijack the day.
Some answers can’t be found. Some things on a to-do list don’t need to be crossed off.
I want to shake myself in those moments and say, “See this moment right here? No problems need to be solved in this moment. And that next moment that’s coming? Nothing needs to be figured out in that moment either. Be, child. That’s all you need to think about.”
Sitting with my friend, I wish I had found a way to listen to myself breathe in and out, focused on my friend’s face, felt the warm breeze that was sweeping my hair across my chin. I wish I had been still and experienced the moment instead of being caught up in my own head.
I feel most at peace when I’m in motion, whether that be on a bike, in a car, or in a plane. Nothing else can be done during those moments, minutes, hours. My mind is forced to clear and my thoughts are forced to slow down. I can’t work on a to-do list or fix a relationship or figure out how I can save enough for retirement. My only option is to sit and be until I get to where I’m going.
While having eight uninterrupted hours with my little nephew, I tried to focus my thoughts only on him. The dishes can go unwashed, the toys can go un-picked up, the emails can go unread, and you know what? Life will still be okay. Life will probably be more than okay. It’s in the moments that we are present that we find enjoyment in life and those around us.
Seeing things that are begging to be done or a list with 10 things on it keep me from finding peace in the space and time that envelops me. My mind seeks order above all else when I just want it to seek moments.
“Be still.” That is what I need to say.