and ramblings on everything in between
BigStuf is one of those things that you can’t explain well enough. Whether you’re a student or a leader, you can’t help but come home from the camp overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit and goodness and truth, yet when someone asks me how it went all I can manage to say is, “It was perfect.” I try to explain how much fun the bus ride down was, how wonderful the speakers were, how powerful it was to worship with 1,500 students, but they don’t get it. So I quickly stop my rambling because…there is just no way they’ll get it.
How can I explain how shocked I was to find four girls “group shaving” in our hotel bathroom (with their swimsuits on, of course)? “We’re saving time!” one of them yelled at me when she saw the questioning look on my face.
How can I share the ecstatic feeling that came over me when one of my girls decided to get baptized?
How can I tell you how hard I laughed when a fellow leader, after watching a group of 5 students continue to talk to each other in their own little world when 2 McDonald’s cashiers were waiting for them to order and 50 more students were behind them yelling, turned to me and said, “You know what I hate most about traveling with teenagers? Their inability to follow processes efficiently.” She had me crying.
And how can I relay the deep pain I felt when a student shared with me that she cuts herself when she’s all alone at night?
You can’t prepare yourself for these things – the good, the bad, the fun, the hard.
I walked away from camp with the assurance that God is undoubtedly moving in these kids’ lives. I might feel like we never make progress at youth group, that none of my lessons sink in, that nothing we share with them gets through, but my eyes were opened to the fact that it’s not me that needs to make the difference. I’m just a supporting actor in the amazing story that God is writing in their lives. And, oh how He’s writing.
I silently prayed over my girls each day, asking God to open their hearts and change their lives. In more ways than one, I’m certain He turned my own prayer on me, opening my heart to the beautiful changes that are going on all around.
“Set a fire down in my soul,
that I can’t contain, that I can’t control.
I want more of you God.”
Set a Fire, Jesus Culture
I heart these four lovely ladies :)
Beach-side prayer time…yes, please!
Wishing it would never end